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This is the fun. not-really-scientific, but very sensible,
section of FT Exploring. See Disclaimer at bottom of page |
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He's nearly well known !  |
"I was as surprised as anyone," said Turtle Boy when asked about the aliens' discovery. "I just hope I can do something sensible with this information." See? What a sensible answer! And he's nearly well known! Contact Turtle Boy. FINE PRINT: Turtle Boy is certified by intelligent and wise aliens from another planet far away, to be the most sensible creature (among humans and cartoon creatures) on planet earth. However, since the aliens insisted on anonymity, we do not have any actual documentation to verify this, so you will have to take our word for it. PS Yes they are cartoon aliens (the only kind there is on earth — in our opinion). But this is no way lessens their findings. END OF FINE PRINT  
Turtle Boy on
his Sensible Soap Box |
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Question Number 1: Dear Turtle Boy,  You guys at the
"Flying Turtle Club" make such a big deal about thinking clearly and being accurate
and thorough and all that -- yada yada yada! Well somebody should point out to
you "don't-know-it-all's" that those clever machines thatDr. Barnabus Galapagos invents would never fly. To start with, their structure is obviously too weak. And there's no way a heavy slow tortoise like Dr. Galapagos could ever generate the power-to-weight ratio required to fly that silly peddle powered ultra-light. Come on guys! Aren't you making yourselves look like ignorant hypocrites? "Just-wanting-some-consistency" in Connecticut Answer to Question Number 1: Dear "Consistency", I don't know quite how to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Dr. Barnabus Galapagos is a cartoon. So also am I a cartoon, and so also are all the other funny little creatures and drawings on this web site. Apparently you have not realized this, or possibly, have never seen a cartoon. Physics in Cartoon Land If you had seen a cartoon, you would have quickly realized that the laws of physics are very different in cartoon land than in human land. Some of the best examples of cartoon physics can be observed and studied in the old Warner Brothers cartoons like "Roadrunner and Coyote" and my favorites "Bugs Bunny" and "Daffy Duck". These cartoons are far bigger breakers of normal physics laws than we at the Flying Turtle. For example, cartoon creatures can stretch their whole body, or parts of their body, and snap back like a rubber band; or be squished like a pancake, sprout little feet while still squished flat, walk around a bit, then pop back to normal. Often they will metamorphose into a different shape and material, like a round rubber bouncing ball, then change right back — usually with a satisfying popping sound. They can pause in mid air over a cliff for much longer periods of time than you humans can, and sometimes they can even run back (on air!) to safety before falling. Or if they do fall and they happen to have been holding an anvil which they happened to let go of first and which is falling below them as a result, they will often fall faster than the anvil (which Galileo in your world is famous for proving wouldn't happen), hit the ground before the anvil, making a hole shaped exactly like their body, then have the anvil land directly on top of them. If you're a cartoon duck, a point blank gun blast to the face will only affect your beak and it will be in a different way each time - spin around your face one time, fall off your face another, end up on the back of your head a third time, then turn upside down, etc. And don't forget those Flintstone cars powered by Fred's and Barney's fat little running feet. No one could really do that and go that fast and that far — could they? Various smart persons have tried to define, explain, and elucidate the Cartoon Laws of Physics. A very good example of this is the Cartoon Laws of Physics that can be found on literally hundreds of web sites. It is so popular that people keep posting it on their sites. So we will avoid that temptation and simply tell you to type Cartoon Laws of Physics into a good search engine and you will find dozens of sites that list these laws. Despite this tremendous effort on the part of curious humans to understand our laws, the fact is, while there may appear to be certain repeatable patterns in our cartoon laws of physics, it is only an illusion. We can do just about anything we want, as long as it can be imagined, drawn, and animated - or computer generated. So we don't feel too hypocritical for those fabulous flying machines of Dr. Galapagos. Besides, he can't be stopped. He just keeps inventing things. But we are grateful to you for asking this thoughtful question. There were probably other thoughtful people out there who haven't seen cartoons and wondered about this. Send your questions and constructive comments to Turtle Boy Continue on for more amazing and sensible wisdom: Question 2 - How Can I Get To Be a Cartoon Like You? Question 3 - Is That Really Your Name? Question 4 - Does Michael Jordan Know A Lot About Batteries? Back to the Top of the Page Back to the FT Exploring Home Page Need to do some Research? Go to the FT Exploring Search Page.
END OF FINE PRINT DISCLAIMER |
| © Copyright 1999 - 2002. David Watson. All rights reserved. Everything in the Flying Turtle web site is copyrighted. For information concerning use of this material, click on Copyright & go to our legal page. |
