Most Sensible Answers
(Chosen most sensible on Earth by wise non-silly aliens - please
see Fine Print below)
Dear Turtle Boy,
Is your name really Turtle Boy? It's a goofy name and it doesn't make any sense
to me. If you were a human who acted like a turtle, or looked like a turtle, or
just really liked turtles, we then might call you something like Turtle Boy. But
you are a turtle who acts like a human boy. So you should be called Boy Turtle.
How did you get such a silly name that doesn't make sense?
Signed Bugged-by-Goofy-Illogical-Names in Connecticut
to Question Number 3:
I am constantly amazed at the things that human beings lay awake worrying about.
However, you make a good point and believe it or not I have an answer. Though
the answer may seem even goofier to you than my name.
An Aside on Which Word Goes First
But before I explain my goofy name, I would like to point out that word order,
in names and sentences, is based more on convention (the way we are used to doing
things) than on logic.
In other words, we put some words in front of other words because that is the
way we have always done it, and it "sounds right" to us. It is not necessarily
because one word order is more logical than another.
For example, the Nez Perce Indians in Idaho received that name from French Traders.
In French Nez Perce' means "nose pierced" (they must have had something
through their noses). That sounds funny to most of us. We would rather say "pierced
nose". Which one is more logical? I would bet that most English speaking
people would say "pierced nose" is more logical and most French speaking
people would say "nose pierced" is more logical. It's a matter of what
you are used to. Right?
Sometimes we mix things up even in English. Someone that grew up in Phoenix, Arizona,
tells us that there are two popular lakes in the area. One is called Lake Pleasant
and the other is called Saguaro Lake. Or is it Pleasant Lake and Lake Saguaro?
How Turtle Boy Got His Name
Okay, so here is the story:
After the aliens conducted their study to find out who was the most sensible person
on earth (see Turtle Boy Intro Page) they took
me on board their space ship to tell me about it and ask me some questions about
humans. Humans are very puzzling to them. Can't think why. They also told me lots
of interesting things which perhaps I will share with you in future columns.
They were very polite and we talked for a long time. They referred to me as Turtle
Boy 612. Apparantly I was the 612th young male turtle they had scanned in their
search for the world's most sensible person. Sort of like a field biologist here
might refer to one of his study subjects as Grizzly Bear - male - Number 5. When
I got back to earth I told all my friends about my experiences with aliens. They
said things like "Well, that makes sense" or "Yup. We always thought
you were very sensible". Many of them also thought it was pretty funny that
I was called Turtle Boy 612. They started calling me that in jest. Pretty soon
it became my nickname that almost everyone uses (except my mom).
The Real Name
So what is my real name you ask? Okay, I'll tell you, but I have a feeling you
won't like it any better than Turtle Boy.
My real name is Spunky Tugback. Satisfied? Some of my friends call me Spunky T
Since you know it now, we may as well use it. Sometimes I'll be Turtle Boy and
sometimes I'll be Spunky Tugback or even Spunky T, just to confuse you. Let us
know which one you like best.
On to the next Question: Does
Michael Jordan Know About Batteries?
Back to Turtle Boy Introduction
Back to FT Exploring Home Page
Need to do some research? Go to the FT Exploring Search
Back to the Top of this Page.
Turtleboy" is a whimsical just-for-fun section of FT Exploring. Turtle Boy
is a cartoon. The aliens that befriended him and designated him most sensible
person on earth were also cartoons (make believe). We do not in anyway endorse
a belief in cartoon or non-cartoon aliens zipping around making geometric patterns
in wheat fields, cutting up cows, or kidnapping people with funny accents and
conducting experiments on them. The cartoon aliens have assured Turtle Boy they
would never do such silly things. If cartoon aliens wouldn't be so silly, it surely
stands to reason that real aliens (if there is such a thing) would also not be
so silly? I mean, come on! Fly billions and billions of miles through space just
to sneak around in the dark and make goofy geometric patterns in wheat fields?
Why not use paint on parking lots? Or dig little ditches in open fields with their
laser blasters? And you think this web site is silly!
OF FINE PRINT DISCLAIMER